Co-concurrent Disorder and Recovery

I suffer from co-concurrent disorder. I have schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, and the disease of addiction. At the present moment I am recovering from all three.

I will be clean and sober for nine years on December 6th this year. My schizophrenia has been almost in complete remission since February 2000. I am slowly recovering from my OCD. I am still battling my OCD but making good progress.

It is such a wonderful feeling to be living in reality and not suffering from the symptoms of schizophrenia and addiction. At the present moment I love life, I love being alive, I just cannot express in words how great it is not to be suffering from psychosis. When I was ill with schizophrenia and using and abusing drugs and alcohol I lived in my own little psychotic world completely cut off from reality.

I felt that I was completely alone in life. I felt that I was the only person existing in life. I didn't believe that other people existed. I had no connection with other people and with the outside world. I was totally wrapped up in my own existence. It is wonderful to know that there are other people out there and that I now have the ability to connect with others. I can truly have fellowship with other people. I can feel that oneness with others. I am no longer completely alone in life. I enjoy my relationship with my wife, my family, and my friends. I just love people and love having that connection with others. I can also truly empathize with others when they are suffering from mental illness and/or addiction. I know what they are going through and can share my experience, strength, and hope with others to help give them hope. I suffered from long term chronic mental illness for approximately 20 years. I abused drugs and alcohol off and on during this time period.

Although there were times when I could perceive that there were other people out there but wasn't able to connect with them. Even when I was aware that there were other people existing besides me I still felt all alone. Alone in my own misiery, pain, suffering, torture, and torment. I had no hope that my suffering would ever end. Despite this there were times when I did have hope that some day some how my suffering would end. Some how my life would get better.

In December 1999 I went to detox to get dried out. I spent a few weeks there. I was still suffering from my mental illness. After leaving detox I moved back in with my Mom and Dad. I went through the motions of Christmas.

In February I got to the point where I could not go on any further in life. All the pain, suffering, torture, and torment got to the point where I just could not bear it any more. I decided that I was going to kill myself and this time I wasn't going to do a half assed job. I will succeed at taking my own life this time. For some unknown reason I called up my nurse that was working with me at the time. I told her my intentions about ending my life. She said, "well you could give up and kill yourself or you can do something about your situation." I stayed awake for three days and three nights thinking about what my nurse had said. I made the decision that I was not going to give up and kill myself and that I was going to do something to change my life and situation.

A couple of days after I made this decision my nurse called me up and told me about the Beacon Program in the Rehab in Waterville. I decided to go there. I was there within a couple of weeks. Doctor Mulhall told me about clozapine and the benefits and the dangers of taking it. He told me to think about it. I did think about it and decided to try it. It worked. It was the first medication that I took for my schizophrenia that actually worked any longer than four months.

Since I went there I met my present wife. I am happily married. My wife and I are having a wonderful life together. I also worked at a candle factory for five years five days a week and eight hours a day. After the five years I got laid off. It wasn't my fault. The company just couldn't afford to pay us becuase of financial reasons.

At the present moment I have a part time fob at Flyer Services putting flyers together. I have two writing jobs. I write for the Schizophrenia Newsletter published by the Kings County Chapter of the Schizophenia Society. I also write for the Mental Health Perspective Newsletter published by the Kings County Branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association.

I believe that life just gets better and better. I continueally recover day by day as time goes on. I just seem to get better and better as time moves forward. I find that with the clozapine you don't get to the point where you just cannot improve anymore. I just keep on improving every day. Tomorrow I will improve, a week from now I'll continue to improve, a month from now and so on and so on as the years roll on.

Not everyone recovers but many do. Once the doctors find the right medication recovery is truly possible. Medication is the cornerstone of recovery. Once the positive symptoms are under control from the meds then the rest of recovery can start happening. Recovery continues on by receiving psycho-social treatments. With the combination of these two types of treatment a person stands a real good chance at getting recovery.

If you are having problems with your thought life, your feelings and emotions, your ability to work or do well in school, and are not able to carry on a social life there is a possibility that you might have some sort of mental illness. If you start to experience these problems you should consider seeking professional help. Seek treatment. Treatment is possible. Don't give up hope. Eventually things will get better. I cannot guareentee that you will recover but if you follow your treatment regime you will stand a good chance at recovering. Just don't despair. Have faith, hope, and courage and you will get through the hard times and come out the other side victorious.

Involuntary Treatment

I was talking to a friend of mine from the Schizophrenia Society tonight. Somehow we got on the topic of advocacy. One of the things we need to advocate for is getting people into treatment if even against their will.

There are many people who are very ill but they do not believe that they are ill. Therefore they refuse treatment. People say that in Canada we all have rights. In reality in Canada our rights are not being imputed unto us all because of stigma. Consumers cannot find work, they run into problems in school, have trouble finding housing, live in poverty, and many consumers end up living on the street.

Yet when it comes to being forced into treatment against someones will that is infringing on their rights. We are taking away their rights by giving them involuntary treatment. Society is not being logical about this whole matter including Doctors, psychologists, and other people who work in the mental health field.

I must say with gladness that the Government of Nova Scotia has passed the Involuntary Psychiatric Treatment Act. The original bill was drawn up. It was refused to be passed and then revised. Finally it went through all the readings and was passed and made law.

This looks good on paper but the act is not being implemented. I have been hearing stories left and right that people that should be receiving involuntary treatment are not getting it because the Doctors are not forcing it upon them despite this Act. They are left out in the cold and have to go through life suffering the tortures and torments of mental illness.

Even though violence is very rare amongst consumers there are consumers that do commit violent acts. It is a known fact that those consumers that do commit violent acts do so as a result of not being treated for their mental illness. They are not taking medication and as a result they suffer from hallucinations (both visual and auditory) and they are suffering from bazaar delusions that defy reason. It's because of these symptoms that they carry out these acts.

If they were being treated these acts would never be committed.

So, the question is "do consumers that are not being treated for their illness have to suffer from guilt and spend the rest of their lives in prison for a violent act they have committed, have to suffer all this because it is against their rights to receive involuntary treatment?"

Is it their right to suffer the symptoms of mental illness? Is it their right to spend their lives in prison for a crime they have committed as a result of their illness? Is it their right to live on the street because they cannot get work because of their illness? Is it their right not to get a higher education because of their illness? Is it their right to live a useless and hopeless life because of their illness? This list of questions could go on and on forever.

I personally believe that not giving involuntary treatment to those who need it is not logical, compassionate, and just. It is simply not right. It is not right to refuse treatment to those who need it under the pretense that they have rights. I also believe that the reason people do not believe that they are ill is because this problem is an actual symptom of mental illness. They are suffering from a symptom. Looking at it from this standpoint is it right to let them go on in life ill because of a symptom. Do they have the right to suffer because of a particular symptom of their illness that they have no control over. It is not their fault that they do not believe that they are ill. They are not making a rational, logical decision by refusing treatment. If they understand their illness, can understand the treatment options, understand the pros and cons of the treatment offered, then they have the right to refuse treatment. People who refuse treatment because they do not think that they are ill do not understand their illness, the treatments being offered, and the pros and cons of the treatment offered. They simply don't believe that they are ill. Therefore they do not need medication for an illness that they do not have.

I think that it is about time that the people who work in the mental health field, the police, the judges and all those involved should start making sure that those people that are severely ill but do not believe they are ill and refuse treatment get that treatment that they do deserve. People do not deserve to suffer as a result of a symptom of their mental illness.

We are supposed to be living in a just society and it is simply not just to make people suffer needlessly. All consumers and family members of consumers should rise up and demand that justice be done. We demand justice. Society is asleep. It is time that the people that are responsible for treating the mentally ill wake up from their slumber. Wake up and see that justice is done.

I might suffer from mental illness but I am also a rational, logical, and organized thinker. My thought processes are just as rational, logical, and organized as anyone else in society because I am being treated for my mental illness. If I was not being treated for my mental illness I would not be able to make that claim. Mental illness is treatable. There is hope for those that have the privilege of being treated. Let us all wake up and give everyone the hope of recovery.

What do I want to Accomplish in Life?

I have been doing a lot of soul searching about what I would like to accomplish in life outside my marriage and three part time jobs.

I presently work at Flyer Services putting flyers together. I also have two writing jobs. I write for the Schizophrenia Newsletter published by the Kings County Chapter of the Schizophrenia Society. I also write for the Mental Health Perspective Newsletter published by the Kings County Branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association.

These three things keep me pretty busy but not busy enough. When I was severely ill I accomplished nothing in life. I was totally useless. For fifteen to twenty years I suffered from what the Doctors labeled me as "long term chronically mentally ill."

About nine years ago the Doctors found the right medication. My mental illness is almost in complete remission. I am also recovering from the disease of addiction and alcoholism. I have been clean and sober for almost nine years.

Now that I am well I have that drive deep within to do things, be successful and accomplish things in life. I personally believe that "when it's all over all that matters is what we have done."

When I pass on from this life I want to leave behind me a legacy of things that I have accomplished. I am having a hard time deciding what else I would like to accomplish both spiritually and in my secular life.

Concerning my secular life I want to have a career and bring in more income than I bring in at the present moment. I consider my two writing jobs as my career but I would like to advance my writing career and make more income from it. It is a very difficult thing to break into the free lance writing business. Especially since I am a new writer just starting out.

I have also been considering getting training at a collage or university and getting a job in the field of my study for a career. But that is not practical. It costs thousands of dollars and will take up a lot of time. I am getting older and by the time I graduate it will almost be time to retire.

I have also been considering starting up my own business buying and selling books. As you can see I have lots of ideas floating around in my head and I just can't decide what I want to do. I believe the main reason I am having a hard time deciding is because of my obsessive compulsive disorder. I have trouble making decisions and when I do make one I cannot carry it through to the end. I change my mind and start something else. I am just going around in circles.

I am hoping to get control of my OCD and make a decision and carry it through to the end. I want to decide what I truly want to accomplish in life and work on my decision until the day I die. I need to draw up a plan with all the goals and objectives written down and work on them on a daily basis. When I have accomplished one set of goals and objectives then move on to the next set of goals and objectives on the plan. Eventually I will have accomplished the things that I have decided to accomplish in life.

This isn't going to be easy. I have a lot of hard work ahead of me. But I am bound and determined to succeed. I am not going to give up and just keep plugging along. Some day I will have fulfilled my destiny in life and die in peace knowing that I have accomplished the things that I have set out to accomplish.

I just wanted to share these things with my readers.

Bye for now.

Schizophrenia and Recovery

It is truly possible to recover from schizophrenia. Although different people recover at different rates and different levels recovery is still possible. Some barely recover at all. Despite all this it is still possible to find a life of meaning, purpose, and happiness. It is still possible to become a productive member of society.

Medication is the foundation of recovery. Once a persons medication kicks in and starts to work it relieves the positive symptoms. It helps with the visual and auditory hallucinations, the delusions, and the thought disorders. It helps to clear the mind of all that confusion and cluttered up thoughts. It helps a person to think in a rational, logical, and organized manner. Once this happens then a person is free to work on the rest of recovery.

One thing that helps with recovery is education. Being educated about schizophrenia. Being taught the symptoms and symptom management. Being taught about the causes, medications and how they work. Side effects of the medications. Learning how to cope and deal with their illness and still function despite the symptoms. Some peoples symptoms get under good control while others barely go away at all. Despite this consumers can still learn to function in every day life.

Part of recovery involves learning to live as independently as possible. Learning how to budget money, shop for groceries, cook meals, do the housework, and look after personal hygiene. Learning social skills and being able to attend social events in the community. Learn to occupy ones mind with activity such as reading, painting, doing crafts, playing musical instruments, writing, or any other activity that the consumer is interested in. Getting exercise and proper nutrition is also important in a consumers recovery. The exercise could be a solitary activity or a team activity. Whatever the consumer prefers.

For those that are well enough consumers can pursue an education. Whether gong back to high school, attending university, or going to collage. If a consumer does decide to attend an educational institution they need to learn to manage the stress involved in going to school. Consumers need to keep the stress level down as low as possible because to much stress can cause a relapse of their illness. Consumers can take training on how to organize their time, study techniques, how to write essays and papers, how to take notes in class, and how to prepare for tests and exams.

Some consumers might decide to break back into the work force without attending school first. A person needs to take training on how to conduct oneself in the work place, social skills development, and how to get along with the boss. They need training on how to write resumes, cover letters, and how to be successful in an interview with a possible employer. Career counseling is another aspect that needs to be done in order to help the consumer decide what kind of job they want to do in life. A consumer needs to know how to sell himself/herself to the potential employer so they need training on how to do this. Once on the job they will need the actual training on how to perform their job. In time they will learn how to do their job, how to excel at their job and be a good asset to their employer.

All these aspects of recovery bring meaning, purpose, and direction in life. A consumer needs to figure out their goals, objectives, and what they would like to accomplish in life. All within the capabilities of the consumer. A consumer cannot do anything that is beyond their abilities in life. It is still possible to learn news skills and develop new abilities that they can apply to their lives and become more successful at their goals and objectives.

Mental health consumers are not capable of doing all these things on their own. They need help. Most of their help can be obtained from the Mental Health Profession. As well as family and friends. Consumers cannot do it alone. There is a saying in Narcotics Anonymous. I can't but we can. If the consumer, the mental health professionals, family and friends work together as a team recovery can be accomplished.

I would like to end on a positive note. Recovery is truly possible. There is hope. Seek recovery with your whole being and obtain the help you need from the necessary sources in order to be successful. Have faith, hope, and courage. Don't give up and strive towards your goals. In the end you will succeed regardless of your circumstances. You can overcome and get the victory over your illness. Keep your dreams alive and pursue them with all your heart. Once again, there is hope.

Walk the World for Schizophrenia 2008

JOIN US ON OUR WALK TO SUPPORT
THOSE WHO HAVE SCHIZOPHRENIA

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2008
REGISTRATION BEGINS
AT 1:00 PM
AT ROBIE TUFTS PARK,
FRONT STREET, IN WOLFVILLE

Walkers begin at Robie Tufts Park on Front Street, Wolfville
walk down Main Street, then back to the Lions Club
for a 'Thank-You Lunch' and Prizes.

There will be Food, Music by the Mud Creek Boys and
Rust Bucket, Prizes, and Fun for the whole family!

Come and have a great afternoon.
At the same time, help alleviate the suffering
caused by schizophrenia!

For a pledge sheet, call
Sara-Ann at 538-3103, ext 136
or Pat at 678-8458
(or register your donation at the Walk)

Kings County Chapter of the Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia Announces

STRENGTHENING FAMILIES TOGETHER

A ten-week program for families - this includes parents,
spouses, adult siblings, adult children, and friends
of people with schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder,
and obsessive compulsive disorder.

Each session is filled
with up-to-date information about serious
mental illness. Learn self-care, communication,
and coping skills in a supportive environment.

Program to start Monday, September 15, 2008
7 p.m. to 9 p.m. at the CMHA Office
Armouries Building, Kentville
ONE SESSION PER WEEK FOR TEN WEEKS

For more information, or to register, contact Pat at 678-8458
If no answer, leave your name and phone number
and Pat will get back to you.

Class size limited to 8.
ALL SESSIONS ARE FREE

Schizophrenia and Faith

The True and Living God created this vast boundless universe. He also created this earth with all the plant life and animal life. He also created mankind.

I personally believe that it is possible to have a personal relationship, fellowship, and communion with the Great God of Creation. We can do this through the avenue of faith. It is because of my faith and relationship with God that I have survived schizophrenia and addiction. I have literally been to hell and back. It is because of God's love, compassion, grace, and mercy that I am even alive. According to the laws of science I should be dead a hundred times over. Because of all the suicide attempts and all the accidental drug and alcohol overdoses I should not be alive.

During all that pain, suffering, torture, and torment my faith in God is what got me through it all. I carried it all to God and left it with Him. I literally poured out my heart to God with tears in my eyes. I also had faith in God that some day things would improve and get better. I had the dream that some day I will get well and become a productive member of society. I dreamed about going to school and working again some day. By my faith in God I kept my dreams alive.

Then at the appointed time God made my dreams come true. I went to the Beacon Unit at the Rehab in Waterville. The Doctor there found the right medication that actually worked. While there I attended the Work Center. I took upgrading, woodworking, job development, and personal development. By doing that I fulfilled my dream of going to school.

A few months after graduating from the Work Center I landed a full time job at a candle factory. I worked there full time for five years. After the five years I got laid off. Since then I have landed a job putting flyers together. I also have two writing jobs. I write for the Schizophrenia Newsletter published by the Kentville Chapter of the Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia. I also write for the Mental Health Perspective Newsletter published by the Kings County Chapter of the Canadian Mental Health Association.

There is one more thing that I can't forget to mention. While living at the rehab I met my present wife. We will be married for seven years on September 1st. We are going to go to Moncton to celebrate our anniversary. We are going to eat out at the Swiss Chalet and we are going X-mas shopping.

If it was not for my living faith in the Living God I would not be where I am right now in my life. I would either still be living in my own hellish psychotic world completely cut off from reality or I would be in the grave right now.

It is my faith in God that brought me through all the pain, suffering, torture, and torment unto the other side of the light. Before I lived in total darkness but now I am living in brightest light possible. The light couldn't get any brighter.

I am very grateful and thankful to God for all that He has done for me. It's all because of God that I am where I am at in life right now. I cannot express in words just how grateful and thankful that I am.

I would like to end by saying if you are a consumer suffering from any form of mental illness take courage and put your faith in the True and Living God and He will in His love, compassion, grace, and mercy help you through all the pain, suffering, torture, and torment and bring you through the darkness into the other side of the light.

I believe that it is God the Great Physician who can bring healing to those suffering from mental illness. He will use medicine, psychology, and spirituality. Believe in God. There is hope.