Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My Plans for 2009

The year 2008 was a wonderful year for both Kim and I. We would love to have a better 2009 than we did in 2008.

One of the things that Kim and I are going to do is make our business successful. We have started up a craft business. We will be selling crafts. We have already have it started. Our business is starting of on the right foot. We have been quite successful already. We are hoping for a large success this year.

Another thing that I would like to accomplish this year is to do more public speaking. I have done a fair amount of public speaking in 2008. I would like to give many more speeches this year. Most of the speeches I deliver are on schizophrenia and addiction. I personally love public speaking. I get much pleasure and satisfaction out of giving speeches. I just want to share my knowledge on mental illness and addiction to be a benefit to the mental health community. I truly have a passion to help others that experience the same things that I do. I want to help my fellow consumers, the family and friends of consumers. I also want to deliver the facts to society in general to try to stamp out that awful stigma in society. There is much stigma out there. I personally believe that one way to stamp out that stigma is to educate society about the facts and dispel all those awful myths out there.

I also want to do more writing this year than I did last year. I want to write more articles on mental illness and addiction. I will be writing for the newsletters that I write for. I will also be doing more writing for my blogs and web sites. I want to get the information out there. The internet is a real good medium for doing this. The internet has a larger readership than any other medium. I just hope that what I write about this year will be a very good benefit to my readers. No matter who they are. I truly have a great passion for writing. I love sharing my knowledge and have the passion for the act of writing itself. I just truly love it.

I also would like to find something to do for a hobby. I want to find something to do just for pleasure and relaxation. I need to take time for myself. I personally believe that this is important for my mental health. I person needs some fun in life. I cant' be doing things that are serious all the time. I also need to have a good time in life. Not just work. I love the work that I do but I also need something fun to do. I have narrowed it down to a couple of things. I have been thinking about learning how to play electronic keyboards. I have one in my possession. I already know how to play four or five songs. I want to learn a lot more than that though. I would like to learn around 30 songs this year. I love playing the keyboards. I get much fun and pleasure playing the keyboards. Another activity that I have been considering to do is painting. I have several paint by numbers to paint. Some for my Mom, some for Kim, and some for myself. I used to paint paint by numbers years ago. I found it fun and pleasurable. I would like to start doing it again.

I just hope that I will be successful at everything I want to accomplish in 2009. I truly think that I will be. Now that I am recovering from my mental illness's and addiction I have the capability and ability to accomplish these things. All I need to do is have much motivation, determination, and discipline. I will succeed. Bye for now. I would like to wish all my readers that you will have a great and wonderful 2009.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Schizophrenia Addiction and Recovery

A lot of mental health consumers also have a serious problem with drugs and alcohol. The medial profession calls this problem a "co-concurrent disorder." This condition requires a special treatment regime. You just can't treat the mental illness and ignore the addiction. You just can't treat the addiction and ignore the mental illness. Both need to be treated simultaneously in order for the consumer to have a successful recovery. Recovery is truly possible but not all consumers recover. There are different rates and different levels of recovery. Some recover very well and others do not. Even though not all recover at the same level it is still possible for those with co-concurrent disorder to still find happiness, joy, peace, and contentment. It is possible to learn to cope and deal with their symptoms so that the person can function in life.

Some consumers use drugs and alcohol to self-medicate in order to cover up their psychotic symptoms and to ease the pain and suffering. There is a paradox here. When a person is experiencing psychotic symptoms and uses drugs to cover them up the drugs causes the person to have worse psychotic symptoms. Yet somehow using causes them to feel better even though they are living in their own psychotic little world. I personally feel that the consumer that is stoned and psychotic doesn't know that something is wrong. They think that what they are experiencing is just normal. They do not know the difference.

Other consumers know that the psychotic symptoms they are experiencing are not quite right. They know that something is wrong. They know that they are ill. Yet with this knowledge they use and abuse drugs and alcohol. Why is this? Because addiction is a real biological, psychological, and spiritual disease. The disease of addiction affects the whole person. It's deep within their hearts, minds, souls, and body. If you combine this with the disease of schizophrenia you have a deadly combination.

You have a person experiencing psychotic symptoms as a result of their schizophrenia abusing drugs which also cause psychotic symptoms. They are getting a double dose of psychotic symptoms. These people are living in their own little world completely cut off from reality. They cannot tell what is real and what is not. They experience both visual and auditory hallucinations. They are seeing things and hearing things. They might see a friend standing in front of them carrying on a conversation with them when in fact that friend is not there.

The symptoms of schizophrenia and addiction can cause horrific delusions. They might be listening to the radio and think that they are getting special messages from the DJ. and also from the lyrics of the music. They might think that they are the only ones in existence and the music and words are coming from God just for them. There is just God and themselves in existence and they are having a special relationship with each other.

I have just listed some of the problems and symptoms of co-concurrent disorder. Now the important question is: How can people with this problem achieve recovery? You have the disease of schizophrenia and the disease of addiction dwelling in the same mind and body. The issues here are not the same as one with just a mental illness or one with just the disease of addiction. We have two separate diseases dwelling inside the same person. The treatment for each one is totally different. So, how do you go about treating this condition? With great difficulty.

The first thing that has to be done is to have the person detoxified. The person has to get clean and get the drugs out of their system. The medication for their schizophrenia will not work if there are drugs in the persons system. The anti-psychotic medication should be administered while they are being detoxified. The sooner they are given medication the sooner their symptoms can be brought under control. Although the medication don't work for everyone it does help some get their symptoms under pretty good control. Especially now with all the newer medications that are being developed. These new medications called a-typical medications work really well at controlling positive symptoms as well as the negative symptoms.

Getting detoxified and being put on a medication regime is just the tip of the iceberg. There is a lot more to recovery than that. Next comes the psychological and the spiritual part of the treatment. Addiction is just as psychological and spiritual as it is physical. Therefore you cannot just treat the physical part of the disease. Once the drugs are out of the persons system and the physical craving for the drugs is gone now you need to treat the rest of the person. This is where the difficulty arises. You have to find a way to treat both illness's at the same time which have totally different symptoms. So, you need to treat the symptoms of both problems simultaneously.

Once the positive symptoms are under control as a result of the medication then the person has to overcome the negative symptoms of their schizophrenia. These symptoms are apathy, blunted feelings, and many times depression.

Apathy is that lack of motivation and lack of interest in life. A person suffering from apathy is not able to do anything. Some people go two or three weeks between showers. They are not able to do housework, cook meals, read for long periods of time, do any manual labor. Anything that the person attempts to do only lasts about five minutes and they have to stop. These are very difficult symptoms to get control of and overcome. There is a lot of hard psychological work. It is definitely not easy.

Blunted feelings is another difficult symptom to overcome. The person is experiencing very intense feelings especially when suffering from the psychological problems caused by getting clean and sober. But the person is not able to express these feelings outwardly towards other people. People view them as a piece of dead driftwood not showing any feelings whatsoever. In order to recover from their addiction and schizophrenia they need to have that oneness and connection with others. If they are not able to express their feelings they are not able to have that fellowship and relationship with others which is a basic need of all human beings.

Depression is a very major obstacle to overcome. Many consumers suffer from severe depression without the disease of addiction. One of the major problems an addict has when they are seeking recovery is that relentless depression they experience when they first get clean and sober. They feel so helpless and hopeless. To them it looks like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Everything is so dark and bleak. Some when starting recovery and are battling the symptoms of their schizophrenia entertain suicidal thoughts. Some even attempt it. Some of them even succeed.

But those who have that drive within and are fighters they never give up and fight tooth and nail until the objective is achieved. Recovery. It's an uproad battle all the way. They are willing to do whatever it takes to recover. They will do anything to recover. They have been living in the pit of hell and they want to climb out of that pit and dwell in the sunlight.

The symptoms of addiction are very complex. There is the mental, physical, and spiritual aspects of addiction. Mental in the sense that an addict has that relentless obsession thinking about drugs and alcohol. All an addict thinks about is getting stoned or drunk. Where they are going to get their next fix An addict cannot get these thoughts out of their mind. They think about nothing else. There is also a paradox here. When the person is stoned or drunk all they think about is quiting. When they are clean and sober all they think about is getting stoned or drunk.

The physical part of addiction is that when an addict takes a drug or alcohol into their system their body develops a physical compulsion for more. When the drugs start to wear off the body cries out for more. They physically crave the drug. If no drugs are taken into their system they have physical withdrawal which is very difficult to overcome. A lot of addicts cannot stand the withdrawal and use again. In fact most addicts cannot get clean unless they go to detox. Going there makes their detoxification a lot easier. At detox they administer drugs to help with the withdrawal.

The spiritual part of addiction is a very profound aspect of the disease. It's hard to put into words. An addict is self-centered, self-willed, self-seeking, and self-absorbed. They only think about themselves and never think about other people unless it would benefit them in some way. This is a very difficult aspect of the disease to recover from because this part of the disease is very deep within their inner being. It takes a lot of effort, determination, motivation, discipline, and a lot of hard work.

I f the consumer can have all these symptoms treated simultaneously they stand a better chance of obtaining recovery. Recovery is truly possible but not in all cases. If my reader is experiencing both the symptoms of schizophrenia and addiction you should consider seeking treatment. It would be of great benefit to you and it would help you get well.

I would like to end by saying that I personally believe that I have some authority in the topics I have been discussing due to the fact that I have schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, and that I am a recovering addict and alcoholic. I will be clean and sober for nine years in December of 2008. There is hope.



Saturday, December 27, 2008

Year 2008

Kim and I have had a wonderful 2008. During this year Kim landed her job at the Animal Shelter. She just loves her job. She works with all the cats. She especially works with the cats that are nervous and shy. She has been successful at getting them out of their nervousness and shyness. As a result of this many cats have found homes and these cats will make great pets. If it wasn't for her some of these cats might have been put down.

In January of this year I was fortunate enough to land my writing job with CMHA writing for the Mental Health Perspective Newsletter. I has been a wonderful experience doing this. I have interviewed many people for articles for this newsletter. It has been a real learning experience. As a result of this writing job I have boned up on my interview skills and my writing skills. I am not sure if I will still have this job when I get back home. The reason for this is that our funding has run out and we don't know if we will be able to get any more funding. I am hoping that we did get some funding while I have been home for X-mas. I would love to be working on this newsletter for the year 2009.

I have been also working at Flyer Services for the year 2008. I put flyers together there. I get paid by piece work. The more I do the more money I make. I have personally chosen to work long shifts there. I don't have to but I do it anyway. My shifts last anywheres between 15 to 20 hours. I am very pleased with this because when I was ill I couldn't work any longer than five minutes. This job gives me enough money to pay for my internet and my tobacco. I plan on working there for the year 2009.

I have also been working on the Schizophrenia Newsletter for the Schizophrenia Society. I also take great joy and pleasure in writing for this Newsletter as well. I am also truly grateful and thankful that I have my good friend Harold helping me with this writing project. He formats it for me. I gather up all the articles and things for it and he puts it all together. It is basically a team effort. We work together on it as a team. We are hoping for another successful year with this newsletter. I personally think that it will be a successful project for the next coming year.

Another good thing that has happened is that Kim and I have successfully started her business. We have been accepted by CAPRE to help us out with our business. We are truly grateful for this. They are going to help us draw up a solid business plan, help us with the marketing, help us with keeping the books, and many other things they will be helping us with.

I have also been very successful in writing for my blogs and web sites I have on the net. I have been writing for these. I have written many many articles for these blogs and web sites. I have also had help by other people writing articles for them too. I personally have a ministry happening here. I have a ministry getting the word out there about schizophrenia and addiction and recovery. I personally believe that my blogs and web sites on schizophrenia and addiction are helping my fellow consumers and addicts. I is also helpful to the family and friends of those with schizophrenia. It also serves as a medium to help stamp out that awful stigma against those of us with a mental illness. I personally believe that one of the ways to stamp out stigma is to educate society about schizophrenia and to dispel some of those awful myths out there about schizophrenia.

I also have started a Christian Ministry with some of my blogs and web sites. I write about the gospel to help unbelievers repent and believe the gospel that they might obtain eternal life. I also try to minister to my fellow Christians to help them with their Christian faith and walk. I am hoping to write more material for these blogs and web sites than I did in 2008.

All in all the year 2008 has been a wonderful year for both Kim and I. We are looking forward to a great 2009. We are hoping that this year will be a better year than last year. I personally believe that this year will be a wonderful year full many many blessings poured out upon us by God. I owe all the great things happening in our lives to the love, compassion, grace, and mercy of God. God by His divine providence and intervention has done many many good things in our lives. I am truly grateful and thankful to our wonderful God.