The New Year

The new year is coming upon us.  A lot of people talk about new year resolutions.  I don't have any.  I do think about what I would like to accomplish in the new year.  My first concern is recovering from my guillain barre syndrome.  I will have a lot of free time on my hands.  I will not be able to work as a collator this year. I do have enough use of my hands to write although it will take longer to write than usual.  I have decided to spend all my spare time doing research and writing.  I need to figure out what subjects to research and write about.  I have so many interests.  Mental illness, addiction, alcoholism, archeology, science, philosophy, paranormal, conservation, global warming, and wildlife to name just a few.   Instead of focusing on just one of these subjects I will write about whatever I feel like writing about at the time.  I am even thinking about starting new blogs on some of these subjects.  I have a real passion for doing research and writing.  I am an intellectual person and love the act of doing research and writing.  I would love to go to university and get some degrees but this is not practical,  It will cost too much money.  I will settle for being self taught.  I can learn just as much or even more on my own.  I will have to spend a lot of hours studying and writing.  I will have to be really determined and motivated.  I will succeed.  It's all about mind over matter.  There is a saying.  "if you think you can you will.  If you think you can't you won't."  This is what I would like to accomplish in 2014.

Have a great and successful new year.

Guillain Barre Syndrome

I developed a rare disease called Guillain Barre Syndrome.  Only 1 in 100,000 get this disease.  On a Sunday night we had to call the paramedics.  They kept me over night.  They released me on Monday afternoon telling me my condition was caused by an anxiety attack or my OCD.  I was angry. I knew that this was not the reason for my problem.

On Tuesday we had to call the paramedics again.  When I arrived I could not move my legs, arms, or hands. They brought in a specialist this time.  She examined me had a suspicion as to what was causing my condition.  They performed a spinal tap and discovered I had guillain barre syndrome.  This disease causes paralysis.  

The same night they started my treatment.  I received five treatments of a blood product called immunoglobulin.  It as administered to me by IV.  The next day they started me with my physiotherapy.  I spent 2 1/2 weeks in hospital.  They were going to keep me over Christmas and send me down to Digby to the rehab.  I recovered enough to make it home for Christmas and I advanced far enough in my recovery I didn't have to go to Digby.

I did some research and I discovered that 10% have a relapse, 30% will not have a full and compete recovery, and those that do have a complete recovery it can take up to a year to achieve.  I am not completely recovered yet but I am making good progress.

When it first started I was an emotional and psychological wreck.  The second day in hospital I did some serious contemplating.  I got myself together and told myself that with shear determination and hard work I will beat this thing.  I had a friend that got into a car accident in his twenties.  The doctors told him he will never walk again.  He looked the doctor straight in the eye and told him "you are wrong.  I will walk again. " With shear determination and hard work in a year he was walking, driving the car, and went back to work as a prison guard.  

I have the same attitude.  With shear determination and hard work I will achieve a full and complete recovery.  It's all about mind over matter.  If per chance I don't have a complete recovery I will learn to accept it and cope with and manage my disability.  It will be months before I am able to do work that's physically demanding.  I have been able to write this article but it has taking me 20 times longer than usual to write it.  I have faith, hope, and courage that I will beat this thing and recover.

There is a very important lesson I learned from all this.  Those of us who can walk, use our arms and hands have a very special gift.  Before this happened to me I took all these things for granted.  I am very grateful for what recovery I've had so far.  I am slowly getting use of my legs, arms, and hands again.

Lifestyle Change

For almost seven months I didn't smoke.  I was on the patch.  It didn't help much.  Even though I was getting nicotine it wasn't enough.  For the whole seven months I craved continually.  Since I quit my mental health was not very good.  I wasn't able to focus and concentrate on my research and writing.  I had a terrible time at work.  Basically I just wasn't able to function very well.  I have just done the bare things that needed to be done.  I haven't accomplished much since I quit.

Finally I just got fed up with the whole thing and started smoking again yesterday.  I am not upset with myself and I am quite glad I started again.  Just since yesterday my mental health has improved almost 100%.  I have a lot more energy since I quit.  When I wasn't smoking I didn't have much energy.  I wasn't able to as much as I did before I quit..  I was always tired and slept in a lot.  The  whole experience was simply a nightmare.

A lot of people are disappointed in me for starting again but it is my life not theirs.  I have perfect peace of mind since I started.  I am glad I started again.  It cost a lot of money to smoke and tobacco went up quite a bit since I quit but I will solve that problem by smoking moderately and have been successful at doing this. That is difficult to do but I am determined to do so.  I have to moderate because I have a very limited income.

I personally believe that my life will greatly improve since I started again.  I basically had two choices.  Have good physical health and poor mental health, or have poor physical health but good mental health.  I have free will to do whatever I decide to do and I used my freewill to smoke again.  Frankly I do not care about all those people out there that are dead against smoking and what they think or have to say about my smoking.

I would like to end this article by stating I am completely happy and content with my decision.  In the article I previously wrote about my quitting wasn't very accurate because I just happened to be having a good day that day. That my regular daily experience most of the time it was like I have just described in this article.

Anniversary

Today is our anniversary.  We have been married 12 years.  It has been the best 12 years of my whole life.  Kim has made me what I am today.  When we first met I was only clean and sober for a few months.  She helped me a lot in staying clean and sober.  She helps me get victory over my OCD.  We do a lot of things together.  I am just very happy I met Kim.  She is special in my life.  Our marriage gives me meaning and purpose in life.  Without Kim I would be like a little lost sheep in the wilderness wandering around aimlessly.She loves me despite my schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, addiction, and alcoholism.She loves me for who I am.  She overlooks the labels the medical profession has put upon me.  I love her very, very, very much and I hope we have many more wonderful years together.  Basically Kim has helped me tremendously with my recovery.  If it wasn't for her I would not be in the stage of recovery I am in right now.  I am very grateful and thankful for having Kim in my life.

Bye for now. 

Smoking Cessation

A great miracle has happened in my life which is I haven't had a smoke in two months and 18 days.  I didn't think I would get past the first day but I did.  I am using the a nicotine patch to help me with the withdrawal.  It is a great help with that aspect of me quitting but it is still very difficult.  Another part of quitting is the psychological part.  That is sometimes hard to deal with as well.

I am determined, come hell or high water to beat this problem in my life.  I am now a free man.  My slavery to the nicotine god has ended.  It's control over me has ended.  I no longer have to plan my day around my smoking habits.  I am able to do things for a long period of time without having to stop for a smoke break.  Health wise I feel much better than I did when I smoked.  The severe coughing jags are over.  I don't get out of breath so easily.  Also, food tastes better.  I am able to accomplish more things now.  Smoking took up a great deal of my time.  Another wonderful thing about quitting is all the extra money I have now.  Kim and I love travelling and we are able to do more of it since I quit.  I am able to buy things for myself once in a while.  I have purchased books, magazines, fishing tackle, and Kim and I get to eat out more often.  The blessings I have received from quitting are enormous and probably I couldn't count them all.

How did I do it?  Mostly by keeping busy.  When my mind and hands are occupied I don't have time to think about having a smoke.  When I get a real bad craving I tell myself just to put off having a smoke for the next hour.  By that time the craving has passed.  I also go find something to do to keep my mind off it.  Play the guitar, play a computer game, read a magazine or a book,  do some chores, do research online, and simply play around on my computer.  Of course I still fulfill my job responsibilities.  I can also accomplish more at work because I am not stopping all the time for smoke breaks.

Quitting smoking is a matter of mind over matter.  If a person believes they cannot quit they won't.  If a person believes they can they will.  There was a time when I believed that I couldn't quit and that's why all my previous attempts were unsuccessful.  I thought that because of my schizophrenia I couldn't quit because smoking really helps the mental state of someone with this disorder.  It simply helps people feel a lot better both physically and psychologically.  Nicotine has therapeutic qualities on people with psychiatric disorders.  For these reasons it is very difficult for consumers to quit smoking but it is still possible.  Now that I have actually quit the thing I have to focus on now is not to start up again.  Never take another puff because if I do that would start my active addiction all over again.  It would only take that one puff to get me smoking again on a regular basis.  After that one puff I would become a smoker again and probably smoke more then than I did when I quit.

I would like to end this success story by stating that "it truly is possible to quit smoking despite the obstacles that need to be overcome."  Recovery from nicotine addiction can be accomplished.

Bill C-54, the Not Criminally Responsible Reform Act

OTTAWA, May 7, 2013 – While Canadians mark Mental Health Week, the government’s Bill C-54, the 

Not Criminally Responsible Reform Act, is moving forward with fundamental flaws that will set back 

progress made in understanding mental health and mental illness, an alliance of national mental health 

organizations warned today. 

“We understand the need to protect Canadians from individuals who commit violent crimes,” said Chris 

Summerville, Alliance Facilitator and CEO of the Schizophrenia Society of Canada at a news conference 

on Parliament Hill. “However, this bill, as it is currently written, will not do this. What this bill has done 

is tell Canadians that they should be afraid of people with a mental illness.” 

Summerville added the vast majority of people with a mental illness will never commit any type of 

crime, let alone a serious one, and that recidivism rates of individuals found not criminally responsible 

on account of a mental disorder are much lower than rates among individuals found guilty of a crime. 

 “The mental health community in Canada has made important strides in reducing the stigma associated 

with mental illness. We are concerned that in its present form, Bill C-54 will negatively impact the lives 

of people found Not Criminally Responsible on account of a Mental Disorder and unjustifiably increase 

the stigma towards people with mental illness,” said Peter Coleridge, National CEO, Canadian Mental 

Health Association. “Too many elements of the bill are simply not evidence based and will not result in 

the changes that Canadians and victims would like to see from such a bill. This issue is much too 

important to rush.” 

“The mental health community was not part of the creation of Bill C-54,” said Dr. Paul Fedoroff, Member 

Board of Directors, Canadian Psychiatric Association and President, Canadian Academy of Psychiatry and 

the Law. “Today, during Mental Health Week, we publicly offer not only to work with the government in 

creating an effective bill, but to also work with victims groups. We are confident that Canadians expect 

their government to work with the mental health community in crafting a bill that effectively and fairly 

deals with people with mental disorders in a way that serves everyone’s interests.” 

 The government’s Bill C-54 proposes amendments to the Criminal Code dealing with restrictions for 

people found not criminally responsible on account of a mental disorder. Given the significance of 

passing such changes, Canada’s mental health community has come together to form a working alliance 

in an effort to strengthen their voice on this critical matter, which is of vital importance to the mental 

health community and understanding mental illness. The alliance includes: 

 . Mood Disorders Society of Canada
. National Network for Mental Health
. Canadian Mental Health Association
. Centre for Addiction and Mental Health
. Canadian Psychiatric Association
. Canadian Psychological Association
. Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention
. Canadian Association of Social Workers
. Schizophrenia Society of Canada
(representing all Schizophrenia Societies
across Canada)

A Writing Career

I would like to have a career some day, not a job.  There is a difference between the two.  I have been doing a lot of thinking about what I would like to do and my decision has been made.  I want to pursue a writing career.  Although I do have two writing jobs  I want to be published enough to make a good living off my writing.  The next decision I need to make is what subject do I want to write about.  I cannot write about mental illness, concurrent disorders, addiction, and alcoholism because there will not be enough places to get published and earn a living off it.  To my knowledge there is only one magazine in North America on the subject of mental illness and I am not sure about addiction and alcoholism.

So, I need to pick a subject and this will have to be my next decision.  I've been mulling over different subjects in my mind.  I have a keen interest in many different topics.  Some of the subjects I have been mulling over are:

• Computers and technology.
• Science.
• Nature and conservation.
• Global warming.
• Fishing
• Music and guitars.
• Paranormal
• Philosophy

This is not going to be an easy decision to make.  I am not going to let my OCD interfere with making my decision and once it is made I will not let my OCD make me change my mind.  I am determined to make the decision and stick to it come hell or high water.  Nothing will get in my way.

I have faith, hope, and courage because recovery is truly possible.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

I went to Acadia Library today and did some research on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).  I wish to briefly share with my readers what I got out of my research.

 

 

When we are in a certain situation or events happen we generally have automatic thoughts in reaction to the event.  We are not aware of these thoughts because they are usually subconscious.  For some people these thoughts are maladaptive or dysfunctional.  This in turn creates maladaptive and dysfunctional behaviors.  Our behaviors are a direct result of our thoughts.

 

 

In CBT sessions the therapist helps the client identify these maladaptive and dysfunctional thoughts.  Then the therapist helps the client change these thoughts and helps the client change their behavior in certain situations.  If we can learn to have the correct thoughts in certain situations then we can carry out acceptable behaviors in the situation.

 

It is not the event itself that causes certain behaviors but it is our interpretation and perception of the event that creates certain behaviors.  If we have the wrong interpretation and perception of the event then our reactions to the event will be maladaptive and dysfunctional.  Our distorted thinking in certain situations is what causes our problems in dealing with the event.  Through CBT the therapist teaches us how to identify the problems and put into practice effective problem solving skills.  When we learn to identify the problem and how to solve the problem then we can learn how to think  and behave appropriately in the situation.

 

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is used to treat various types of disorders such as phobias, anxiety disorders (such as obsessive compulsive disorder),psychosis, eating disorders, addiction,and alcoholism.  Research studies have shown CBT to be very successful in treating many of  these disorders previously mentioned.  In fact in some situations CBT by itself produces better results than using medication.  At other times it is very successful using it in combination with medications.  Either way CBT is a very effective treatment for many psychiatric disorders.  Today, it is being used more and more by mental health professionals.

Beyond The Brain

Here is an interesting article.  It takes a different angle than most literature.  I'm not sure if I agree to it all but it definitely makes a person think.  It states that there is lot more to schizophrenia than just the biological model.  Some people even recover without medication.

If you are open to different ideas about schizophrenia give it a read.

Here is the link to the article.

http://www.wilsonquarterly.com/article.cfm?AID=2196

Converting the World

I have done lots of research on many different topics and subjects.  Mental illness, addiction, alcoholism, different types of philosophy, religions, science, psychology.  There is one thing I have noticed.  Everyone is out to convert everyone else to what they believe.  It doesn't matter who they are, what they believe or what organization they are advocating for, they are out to convert everyone else to their position.  Why?

I must confess there was a time in my life when I was guilty of the same thing.  Why do I need to convert everyone else to my position on different things in life?  Why does it matter?  If I am satisfied with what I believe or what my position is on something, and it works for me, and it helps me on my path in life, and helps me cope with all the bad things that happen in my life, why do I need to convert everybody else to it?  What's the purpose in doing so?

When I am surfing the net I have noticed that no matter what the subject, or organization, or the thing they are promoting they sound like vultures stomping all over everyone else as if they are their enemies out to destroy them.  Destroy the enemy or else.  I must be victorious. I must win the battle and completely obliterate my opposition.  I am the man, I am the ultimate authority,  you must surrender to me or else.  The whole world must succumb to me and believe the same thing I do, they must be obedient to me and my beliefs.  Why?

I personally believe that this is the very core and reason for all the wars and violence, terrorism, and Dictators stamping out all their opposition.  If a person studies all the past wars in history and really thinks about it, why were all these wars fought and why did so many people have to die and be destroyed.  Simply because the rest of the world must believe what I believe and must succumb to my beliefs and authority.  No matter what they are.

There is a saying in the 12 Step groups such as AA, Na, Ga and many others.  It goes like this:  Live and Let Live.  I will live my life the way I think I should and I will let you live your life the way that you think you should as long as neither one of us are hurting someone else in the process.

The only reason I wrote this is just to give my readers some food for thought.  Why why why must I convert the world?