What I am about to share with you is my own personal experience. It need not be yours. I just want to share it with my readers with the hope that it just might help someone. My spiritual life is one of the main ingredients of my recovery from my schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, addiction, and alcoholism. It is not the only thing responsible for my recovery. There are many different aspects to my recovery. For the purpose of this article I just want to share the spiritual part of my recovery.
I personally believe that one of the reasons for my recovery is God's Divine Providence and Intervention. He is the only reason I have survived mental illness and addiction. According to the laws of science I should be dead a hundred times over. All the accidental overdoses and the thoughts of committing suicide. I remember one experience when I was in the hospital I tried to jump out the fourth floor window four or five times. There were three security guards watching me. When I was halfway out the window they had to grab me and pull me back in the window.
There were many times when I overdosed on drugs, not on purpose, I was just trying to get high. During one period of my active addiction there was an ambulance or the police at my house three or four times a week because of drug overdoses. Many of those times I was very close to death. I remember one time I woke up in the V.G. Hospital in Halifax. Just as I was waking up the Doctor came in shaking his head saying "I don't understand it, I don't understand it"
I said, "Doc what don't you understand?"
The Doctor replied, "young man you should be dead right now. You had enough drugs in your system to kill five people. I don't understand how come you are still alive."
If that isn't God's Divine Providence and Intervention I don't know what is. All because of God I am still here and by His miracle I am living in and enjoying recovery to the fullest. I am fully human and fully alive. I make mistakes and sometimes say and do things that I shouldn't but by God's love, compassion, grace, and mercy I am living a spiritual life to the best of my ability.
I truly believe in God and totally depend on Him for my recovery. After over 20 years of pain, suffering, torture, and torment God saw to it that the Doctors finally found the right medication. My psychosis in is total remission. I am overcoming the negative symptoms of my schizophrenia. I am slowly overcoming and getting control of my obsessive compulsive disorder. I have now been clean and sober for 11 years as of December 6, 2010.
It isn't just the medication that is responsible for my recovery. While I was living on the Beacon Unit (a rehabilitation program) I was receiving psycho-social treatments for my schizophrenia as well. I was also greatly helped with my addiction problems by one of the nurses that worked on the Beacon Unit, who happened to work in addictions for over 20 years. We talked for many hours about my thoughts, feelings, and cravings for drugs and alcohol. She helped me to work some of the 12 steps that originated with Alcoholics Anonymous. I also attended Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous as well. I do not attend those groups at the present moment though, but I still try to work the 12 steps to the best of my ability.
While living on the Beacon Unit the best thing that could ever happen to me happened. I met my wife. I believe that Kim was God sent. I personally believe that God is the one that arranged for us to meet, fall in love, and get married. As of September 1, 2010 we have been married for nine years. She also played a big role in my recovery from my concurrent disorders. I believe that if it wasn't for Kim I would not be where I am right now in my recovery.
I have been truly blessed by God and His Divine Providence and Intervention. In order to keep and maintain my recovery I try to carry on a personal relationship with God to the best of my ability. I talk to God through prayer and I let God talk to me through meditation. I do my best to keep in touch with the God of my own understanding. I truly believe that "with God all things are possible." and "without God nothing is possible."
I am living in recovery, living a life of meaning and purpose, I am a productive member of society, and most of all I am happily married. All because of one person. God.
