My Life Today

I had another wonderful day today.  I woke up around 8:00 am.  I went right to work and did the chores for my wife.  Later in the morning our support worker took Kim and I out.  We went to Wolfville to check out the new location for the craft fair we will be attending this Saturday.

On the way back we stopped at Giant Tiger and did some Christmas shopping.  Then we headed off to Dollarama to do some more Christmas shopping.  I did everything I had to do to get ready for work tomorrow.  At supper time I cooked both Kim and I's supper.  After that Kim and I wrapped up Christmas gifts.  We relaxed in the living room listening to Christmas music and looking at the tree lights.  After that I played my favourite computer game called World War II Europe Series.  It is an air war game.  I fly war planes, shoot down other planes, engage in ground attacks, and try to sink ships on the water.  It is a fun game and I have a ball playing it.

For the rest of the night I will probably do some fun research such as reading up on fishing.  I love fishing and I intend to more fishing this summer than I did last year.  When the weather warms up in the spring I am going to practice my fly casting on my front lawn.  I am going to be getting a fly tying kit for X-mas and a book for beginners on how to do it.  I am going to take fly tying up for a hobby this winter.  By spring I will have lots of flies to go fishing with.

I like fly fishing for smallmouth bass and trout.  Some day I intend to purchase a 91/2 foot salmon fly rod with the intention of going fly fishing for salmon, stripped bass, and shad.  At the present moment I have an 8 foot trout fly rod which is perfect for smallmouth bass and trout.

I have had a wonderful day and I sincerely hope that all my readers had a wonderful day too.

Good luck in your recovery, whether you have a loved one or friend with a mental illness or whether you are a consumer.

A Day At The Craft Fair

My wife and I got up at 6:00 am this morning.  We left at 6:30 and picked up a friend.  We headed to the Somerset Elementary School and spent the day at the craft fair.  We sold enough product to pay for the table and made some profit as well.

We all had a ball.  We had a great time socializing with the customers.  My friend, wife, and I carried on with each other.  All around it was a wonderful day.  Having a day like today is very important to me because there was a time when I wouldn't have been able to do this.  I would have been severely paranoid.  I wouldn't have been able to socialize with the customers.  I would have been afraid for my life at a function like this.  It simply would have been a terrible time for me.  I wouldn't have been able to enjoy myself.  It  would have been just a nightmare for me.

I am very grateful for the way my life is right now.  I now feel fully human and fully alive.  I have a wife, friends, I am able to work, and I am able to spend hours doing my hobbies.  I am heavily involved with the  Schizophrenia Society.  I simply know how to live life to the fullest and I enjoy every minute of it.  Even though I constantly battle my OCD symptoms I rise above them and make the best of it.  Sometimes it's very hard and difficult but I am a fighter and a survivor.

Today was a wonderful day and I am very grateful and thankful for it.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and the Quest For Truth

A person might not realize it but a persons religious or philosophical beliefs are very important aspect of a persons life experience.  Whether you are a consumer or not a consumer your beliefs are the very core of your whole being.  Everyone lives according to their belief system.  Every thought or action you have in life is a direct result of what you believe.  Even if you are not conscious of your beliefs they still dictate how you live your life.

Personally I have been on a conscious quest for truth since I have been around 17 years old.  At that age I embraced fundamentalist Christianity.  I got involved in the Church.  I used to preach the Gospel at Sunday night services, pray at public bible readings, taught the Children at the Children's Gospel Hour, and I taught Sunday School as well.  I stayed in the Church for three or four years then I gradually drifted away from it.

After I left the Church then I started reading and investigating other religions and philosophies.  I did research on other Christian sects within Christianity.  I took an interest in Eastern Religions and Philosophies such as Buddhism  Hinduism, Taoism, and various forms of meditation.

I looked into various philosophies.  Atheism, Agnosticism, Theism, Deism, Pantheism, rationalism, empiricism, existentialism, pragmatism, the philosophy of religion and many other types of philosophy.

For the last year or so I have been investigating the paranormal and the supernatural.  Ghost's, spirits, demons, angels, hauntings, and ghost hunting.

I have also done a lot of research on science and evolution.  Most evolutionary scientists are atheists.  They believe in the scientific method and that there is no external evidence to prove the existence of God, the supernatural, or the paranormal.

So, here you have it.  All these different positions out there and it makes a person wonder which position is right and correct.  Is it truly possible to know true knowledge whether religious, philosophical, or scientific?  An extreme position of scepticism believes that true knowledge cannot be obtained.  It is totally impossible to know what the truth actually is, which I do not agree with.

I would like to share with my readers the only thing I have accomplished by researching all these different religious, philosophical, and other types of beliefs is: just, pure, plain, confusion.  I have no clue as to what position I should embrace.  I have had people tell me that the reason I am confused is because I have studied all these different belief systems.  If I have only studied one and just stuck with that one system I wouldn't be so confused today.

I have a deep burning passion within my whole being to seek out the truth, find it, believe it, and live my life by it.  The problem is, I don't know how to figure out what that is.  I believe I know the reason why.  My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is preventing me from doing this.  Because of my OCD I cannot make a decision and stick to my decision to the end.  Like I said in my last blog entry I just go round and round in circles. The only way I can figure all this out is by getting the victory over my OCD and just do it.  That is not an easy task but I am determined to beat this thing called OCD and get these things all figured out and get on with my life.  What I have shared with you, my readers, is just another aspect of my OCD and how it affects my life.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

It's been a while since I have written something for my blog.  My OCD has been getting the best of me lately.  In fact I feel it has been getting worse instead of better.  Even though I have been having problems I am still successfully holding down my three jobs.  I am still successfully carrying out my relationship with my wife.  We celebrated our 11th. anniversary in September.  

Concerning my OCD I am just going around in circles.  I am only able to focus on one thing at a time.  I will decide to do something and spend a lot of time doing it but two or three weeks later I will stop doing it and decide to do something else and go through the same process again.  I have trouble making decisions and when I do make one I am not able to carry it through to the end.  I am just spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.  It is very frustrating.  

I believe that we create our own destiny.  We decide on what our destiny is, draw up a plan how to carry it out, and then work on that plan for the rest of our lives.  I believe that we will never arrive per se but we can fulfil the destiny we decide we want it to be.  I am not able to do this because of my OCD.  I want so badly to make a decision on my destiny, draw up my plan, and successfully carry it out.  My psychiatrist told me the decision itself isn't important but what's important is to successfully carry out my decision to the end.  For me, that's next to impossible.  My doctor believes it is though with a lot of hard work on my part.

I also experience other symptoms as well that don't help matters any but the one I have been talking about is the one that bothers me the most.  I just wish I could make up my mind and just do it (don't think about it, don't talk about it, just do it.)  Actions speak louder than words.  I am getting tired of just spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.  I was watching a movie once about Alexander the Great.  In the movie Alexander made a statement which was, "when it's all over all that matters is what you have done."  I would like to leave a legacy behind me when I leave this world.

I just wanted to share this with my readers just to give a glimpse of what it is like to experience OCD.  It is a very frustrating illness to live with.  Concerning my schizophrenia, it is in complete remission but my OCD is not.  I battle symptom after symptom every single day. I experience many symptoms every day. My wife is a big help for me as far as getting through it.  Without her I would be like a little lost sheep in the wilderness, aimlessly wandering around.

Despite all of this I am still holding up strong.  I am determined that some day I will beat this thing and be successful at the things I want to accomplish in life outside my marriage and my work.  I will decide on my destiny, draw up my plan, and fulfil my destiny and leave behind me a legacy when I am gone.

The Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia 30th Anniversary Celebration

Media Advisory
The Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia
30th Anniversary Celebration
June 14, 2012
Halifax, Nova Scotia

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
The Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia is hosting its 30th Anniversary Celebration on Saturday,
June 16th, 2012, from 12:30 pm to 4:00 pm at the NSCC Waterfront Campus, 80 Mawiomi Place,
Dartmouth, Nova Scotia. The event is open to the public.
The 30th Anniversary Celebration will begin with a catered lunch at 12:30 pm, followed by speaker
presentations at 1:30 pm, and a performance by the Park Bench Players at 2:30 pm.
The Park Bench Players are a group of adult residents from the Antigonish area, five of whom have
lived with schizophrenia since late adolescence. Their play, entitled With a Little Help from My
Friends, sets out to educate the public about mental illness and the worthwhile lives of those who are
challenged by mental health issues. The six person cast has been performing in communities across
Antigonish and Guysborough counties. This will be their first performance in Halifax Regional
Municipality.

Cast and crew members of the Park Bench Players, Cecilia McRae, President of the Schizophrenia
Society of Nova Scotia, and Stephen Ayer, Executive Director of the Schizophrenia Society of Nova
Scotia, will be available for interviews during the event.
About the Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia
The Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia is a community not-for-profit organization that was
incorporated in 1982. We work to improve the quality of life for those affected by schizophrenia and
psychosis—including families and friends—through education, support programs, influencing public
policy, and encouraging research.

Contact
Dr. Stephen Ayer
Executive Director
Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia
Phone: (902) 465-2601
Cellular: (902) 237-0018
Email: ssns@ns.sympatico.ca

Special Meeting - Mental Health and Addictions Strategy for Nova Scotia

Good afternoon,

Patricia Murray, special advisor to the Associate Deputy Minister on Mental Health and Addictions for the Department of Health and Wellness, will join us for a meeting and discussion on the recently released provincial Mental Health and Addictions Strategy. All are welcome to participate Wednesday, June 13, from 1 - 3 pm. Patricia will be at The Nova Scotia Hospital site in Room B117 of the Marshall Building.

We've arranged for Telehealth in the following locations:

·       Dartmouth Community Mental Health - Belmont House, 5th Floor, Harbourview Room

·       Bayers Road Community Mental Health - Citadel Room

·       Cole Harbour Community Mental Health - Case Management Boardroom - located at the SCOTeam end

·       East Coast Forensic Hospital -  large Administration Room

·       The Nova Scotia Hospital site - Marshall Building, Room B117

·       Hants Community Mental Health - Hants Community Hospital Boardroom

·       Bedford/Sackville Community Mental Health - Cobequid Community Health Centre, Room 3141

·       Abbie J Lane - Veterans' Memorial Building, Room 1613B

Hope you can participate. Thank you.

Disability and the Law - Free Legal Information Session at reachAbility

Join us at reachAbility for a Free Legal Information Session !!!

What: Disability and the Law

Presenter: Professor Archie Kaiser from Dalhousie’s Schulich School of Law

When: Wednesday, June 20 from 11:00am-12:00pm

Where: reachAbility at 3845 Joseph Howe Drive, Suite 201

Contact: Andrew to RSVP (space is limited) and/or for more information (Contact information below)

reachAbility is excited to have Professor Archie Kaiser, a renowned expert on disability and the law, coming to speak to reachAbility’s clients and staff. Professor Kaiser has been a professor at Dalhousie’s Schulich School of Law for over thirty years. Over the years, he has done extensive research on mental health and law. Because of his experience he is sought out by community organizations, academic forums, and media outlets for his expertise on disability and the law.

Join us to hear Professor Kaiser discuss several topics pertaining to disability and the law. Some topics that Professor Kaiser will touch on are disclosure of a disability to an employer, landlord, or others; accommodation for a disability and the recourse if it is not received; and other similar topics. After the talk, Professor Kaiser will be taking questions from the audience.

Andrew Nicol

Legal Services

3845 Joseph Howe Drive, Suite 201

Halifax, NS B3L 4H9

Phone/TTY (902) 429-5878

Fax (902) 429-5858

www.reachability.org