My Writing

When I write I pour out my whole heart, mind, and soul into it. I mostly share my experience, strength, and hope with others. I share my experience with schizophrenia and recovery, obsessive compulsive disorder and recovery, and addiction/alcoholism and recovery. I also pour out my being into my writing about Christianity and share my experience, strength, and hope concerning my religious experience.

The reason I do this is because I want to use my experience to help my fellow man. I believe that the reason I had to suffer for over 20 years with mental illness and addiction is so that I can empathize with others in their suffering and share my experience with them to help them and give them hope.

I would really love to go to university and get an higher education and work in the mental health field or addictions field but that just isn't practical. It would cost me thousands and thousands of dollars and would have to pay it all back to the government. By the time I graduate I would be to old to get a job. No one is going to hire a 55 to 60 year old man just coming out of university.

So, I have decided that I can still help my fellow man. I can do it through my writing. I also like to write speeches and deliver them at every opportunity that comes along. I gave several speeches in 2008 and I hope to give more than that in 2009. I just love public speaking and I get much pleasure and satisfaction out of this activity. I usually write speeches to share my experience, strength, and hope with others.

I just have a burning fire and passion deep within my inner being to write and give talks with the purpose of helping my fellow man. I want to show others that suffer that there is hope and that recovery is truly possible. I am recovering from schizophrenia, obsessive compulsive disorder, addiction, and alcoholism. I have been recovering from all four for over nine years now. My recovery gives me such peace, joy, and happiness that I just cannot put it into words. I try to do my best to put my recovery into words so that I can help others. I try to make my writing as simple as possible so that anyone can understand how I have recovered with the intention of helping others recover. I would just like to say have faith, hope, and courage. Seek recovery with your whole being and you just might find it. If I can find recovery anyone can. Just don't give up. I didn't give up but it took me over 20 years to find it. I am not a quitter and I just kept on trucking until the day that recovery decided to come my way. Many times I thought about suicide and even attempted it a few times. I am just glad that I didn't complete the job. Now that I am recovering I just love life and I love being alive. I just have a deep passion for life. I know what it is like to be fully human and fully alive. I would just like to say "keep on trucking until you find the precious gift of recovery."

Lunenburg County Chapter of SSNS Fund Raiser

Wednesday, April 8^th, 2009

4:00 pm to 8:00 pm!

The Lunenburg County Chapter of the Schizophrenia Society of Nova Scotia (LCC-SSNS) invites you to join us at Guppy’s Place Family Restaurant on Wednesday, April 8th, from 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm. Guppy's is located at 4744 Highway #10, New Germany, Nova Scotia, just 15 minutes from Bridgewater on the beautiful South Shore.

Come and enjoy some great food, and the toe tapping entertainment of the Newfie Jammers, the Country Classics, and The Riverside Ramblers!

Try your luck with our 50/50 draw and/or purchasing Walk the World for Schizophrenia raffle tickets with a GRAND PRIZE of two return VIA Rail tickets with bedroom accommodation between Halifax and Montreal.

Guppy’s will donate 20% of the gross food sales to the LCC-SSNS.

We hope to see you there!

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Something Strange

A real strange thing happened to me when I was sick with my mental illness. One night I went to take my meds and I couldn't swallow them. I also tried to eat and could 't swallow my food. I went two weeks without taking my meds and eating. My weight went down to 80 pounds.

Mom took me to see my psychiatrist. He put me on a meal supplement to keep my alive. Then he sent me to the medical doctors. They did every conceivable test on me. They could not find anything physically wrong.

They sent me back to my psychiatrist. He came to the conclusion that somehow my mental illness was causing this problem. For the next year I went through hell. I was put on the liquid form of my meds. For the ones that didn't come in liquid form Mom had to crush them up and put them in yogurt.

I also couldn't smoke or drink coffee. So I had to give it up. All I could drink was water. I couldn't even swallow my saliva. I must of drank a 100 glasses of water a day. I couldn't even get up. All I did was just lay around on the couch. To make matters worse my schizophrenia was also in full bloom.

Finally after a year I was at a friends place. He passed me some food and told me to try eating it. I tried it and I was able to swallow it. After that I began to eat food. Was I ever glad. I was also able to swallow my saliva. After this I started drinking coffee again. A couple more years later I started smoking again. I still smoke to this very day. I am just grateful and thankful that whatever the problem was about me not being able to swallow went away. Now I can eat and swallow.

I find this a very strange thing. The doctors had no clue as to how it happened. It just did.

Todays Recovery

So far today I have been enjoying my recovery. I have had a ball all day. I got up this morning and made breakfast for Kim and saw her off to work. After she left I sat in my rocking chair, rocked back and forth and listened to some classical music.

After I did that I played my Battlefield 1942 computer game. I played for two hours straight without a break. That in itself is a miracle for me. At one time I would of only lasted five minutes and stopped as a result of my negative symptoms.

After I did that I did some writing on one of my other blogs.

When Kim got home from work we cut back the flowers in her garden. She has a flower garden out front. She just loves it too. I help her with the garden every spring and summer. It's nice to have a flower garden out in front of the house.

After that I came in and started writing this blog entry. I am also listening to BBC Radio 3 as I write this article. I just love classical music. I listen to a lot of online radio stations. Mostly classical but I also listen to rock, gospel, easy listening music, a bit of country, jazz, and opera. I personally believe that music is good for the soul. No matter what kind of music a person listens to.

Mental Health week is coming up in April. I am definitely going to write up some articles to celebrate Mental Health Week. I will be writing an article for the "Mental Health Perspective Newsletter" published by our local branch of CMHA. for Mental Health Week. In fact all four of us are going to write articles celebrating Mental Health Week. We are all going to write articles on creativity and mental health. We all believe that creativity helps people have good mental health. I have been doing some research and there is definitely a connection between people that have mental illness and creativity. Most of the creative people in history have had some form of mental illness. Whether they were composers, writers, musicians, painters, and sculptors. Even some scientists had a form of mental illness.

I am not a genius but I am quite a creative person. I was a professional musician at one time. I am a half decent writer. I used to draw many years ago. I was a great public speaker. I used to speak in the Church when I was involved in the Church. Everyone at the Church thought that I was a good little gospel preacher. Since I have started recovering from my mental illness I have also done a lot more public speaking. Most of the speeches that I have delivered were on mental illness. I try to do anything possible to get the word out there about mental illness. I use my writing skills and public speaking skills to do this. Not only do I love writing but I also love delivering speeches. I find that being creative does certainly help give me a more fulfilling recovery. I am thinking about taking up drawing again and I want to learn how to paint as well. I would also like to start playing the piano again. I used to play the piano a lot back in the late seventies and early eighties. I do have a keyboard at the present moment. I can only remember how to play four songs but I would like to start learning more songs. I just love playing the piano. It gives me a good felling and a sense of accomplishment.

The problem is I am pressed for time. I have so many things on my plate. I am going to try to find time for all these activities I want to engage in.

I have to go. A friend of mine has just arrived. He's going to help me get the patio set out of the garage. Kim wants to put it out today. We both just love sitting outside at the patio table. We have barbecues and sit at our patio table to eat our meals we cook on the barbecue. We also sit around the table when we have company, relax, and chat with our friends. There was a time when I didn't have that many friends as a result of my mental illness. Now Kim and I have lots of friends. We love to have our friends over for special meals that Kim and I make. As far as socializing goes there is nothing more pleasurable than socializing over a real good meal.

Before my friend and I dig out the patio set we are going to get on the job bank and check it out. My friend is looking for a job at the present moment. He is looking for a cooking job or a janitor job. He has training in both. He is also recovering from schizophrenia. He used to work with me at the candle factory before we both got laid off. I also went to the Annapolis Valley Work Center together. He took a janitorial course and I was taking woodworking. We both also took upgrading, job development, and personal development. We both graduated successfully.

Concerning jobs I had to drop one of my jobs. I was burning myself out. That isn't good. That could cause a relapse of my mental illness. I don't want that. I gave it much serious thought. I have decided to drop my part time job at the candle factory. So now I only have four jobs on the go instead of five. These four jobs keep me pretty busy. There was a time when I couldn't hold down one job let alone four. I need these four jobs in order to make enough money to pay for my high speed internet and my tobacco. Yes I am one of those fellows who smoke. I also drink a lot of coffee. If caffeine and nicotine are my only vices in life I have nothing to worry about. If you consider all the vices I have had in the past. The smoking might kill me but everyone has to die from something. I have tried many times to quit but without success. As I as I am concerned that is okay with me. Kim understands that I am not able to quit as well. She is a very understandable wife.

I am thinking about playing my computer game again later on. I have so much fun playing my computer games. It is something I do for rest and relaxation. A person needs some time out from all the responsibilities of life just to have fun.

My friend and I have just decided to watch a Deep Purple concert after we dig out the patio set. I have three of their concerts on DVD. In fact the first song that I learned how to play on the drums was Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple. It is a fun song to play on the drums. I used to have a ball when I played in the bands. I have played in three or four different rock bands, a country band, and I also played in the school jazz band. It was fun. Back then I wanted to be successful in playing in a band that made it big. I used to daydream about playing in front of thousands and thousands of people. It didn't work out though. That's okay with me though. I just love doing what I do at the present moment concerning work.

As far as my career I consider writing my career. I just do the other jobs to make enough money to get me by. Some day I want to be a full time writer. I want to become a successful paid published free lance writer. Because of my obsessive compulsive disorder I have trouble deciding what genre I want to write about concerning my writing career. I will decide and get down to business. I want to find people to interview for my stories. I love interviewing people and write stories based on the interview. In fact I have interviewed many people for stories for the CMHA newsletter. We had a fellow from the Advertiser give a talk to us on good interviewing skills. I learned a lot about the topic from his talk. What I learned from him will definitely improve my interview skills.

I have to go now. I could write all day but I have other things I have to tend to. Bye for now. May you enjoy your day today.

The Mental Health Coalition of NS

The Mental Health Coalition of NS

in partnership with the

NS Community College

invite you to:

“Have Your Say”

April 1st 2009, 6pm-8 pm

A videoconferencing event

in multiple locations around NS to provide feedback on the

“Framework for a Mental Health Strategy for Canada”

developed by the Mental Health Commission of Canada.

Come out and Have Your Say!

Locations:

Dartmouth - Akerley Campus, Boardroom

Middleton - Annapolis Valley Campus, AVCM Boardroom

Yarmouth - Burridge Campus, Room B-144

Kentville - Kingstec Campus, Room B-246

Bridgewater - Lunenburg Campus, Room B-121

Sydney- Marconi Campus, Room B101D

Stellarton - Pictou Campus, Room B210

Truro- Truro Campus, Room B201 – Forester Hall

For details please visit our website http://www.mentalhealthcoalitionns.info or

Call (902) 466-6600 or toll free 1-877- 466-6606

For more information about the locations http://www.nscc.ca/About_NSCC/Locations/Campuses.asp

For information about the Mental Health Commission of Canada & the Framework for a Mental Health Strategy please visit

http://www.mentalhealthcommission.ca/english/pages/default.aspx (the online consultation deadline is extended to April 19th)

Magazine Article

Kim belongs to an organization called CAPRE. This organization helps people start up and maintain a business. They helped her with her business plan. They gave her the forms to fill out to register her business. They are going to get her some funding to help get her business off the ground.

Kim is all excited about a magazine article that's going to be published in the Salt Scapes Magazine. The article is about CAPRE. The writers came down today to take pictures of everyone and interviewed everyone to gather information for the article. It is going to be published in the May/June Issue. Everyone had a wonderful time today with the writers and the writers had a wonderful time with the folks from CAPRE. All in all it was a great day for Kim. She is all excited about the whole thing. She can't wait to see the article after it is published. Of course, we are going to buy some copies of the magazine and give them to certain folks and keep a copy or two for ourselves.

My Life Today

What was life like for me today. Just great! All we have is today. I did my best to live "just for today." I try not to live in the past and I try not to live in the future. Except when I am making plans for the things I would to accomplish in the future concerning my career, what I want to do for rest and relaxation, and other things that I would like to do. Otherwise, I live one day at a time.

What did I do today? I helped Kim with the house chores, helped Kim with the laundry, and helped Kim cook supper. I rolled my smokes for today. I spent quite a bit of time on the internet today. I was reading news articles on the CBC web site. I found an excellent web site on digital photography. I am teaching myself how to be a photographer. I want to start up a photography business. I am going to take photographs and sell them.

Right at this moment I am listening to CBC Radio 2 as I write this blog entry. I spend a lot of time listening to online radio stations. I just love music. Almost all genres of music. The only type of music I will not listen to is rap. I like the music and the beat. It is the lyrics I don't like. All they do is curse, swear, rant and rave about immoral things.

I have been giving serious thought as to my future writing career. I am going to continue writing about mental illness, addiction, alcoholism, and concurrent disorders but I want to branch out into other areas in my writing. I want to advance my writing career. I want to become a successful paid, published, free lance writer. I want to start getting published in magazines and newspapers. I am in the process of deciding what type of writer I want to become. A Christian writer, a science writer, a journalist, or some other type of writer.

I am seriously considering becoming a successful science writer. I want to specialize in writing about the research being done on different types of mental illness, addiction, alcoholism, and concurrent disorders. When I was in school my favorite subjects were math and science. These were also the subjects I made my highest marks in. I personally believe that you don't have to be a scientist to be a science writer. I am going to do a lot of research and studying on science though. I personally believe that a writer needs to have a real good working knowledge on the subject he is writing about. I am going to become a self taught expert on science. The more I research and study science the better science writer I will become.

You might be wondering what all this has to do with schizophrenia. Much every way. The things I have been writing about my day today is all about recovery. I have been enjoying recovery from my mental illness's and addiction today. There was a time when I couldn't live the way that I lived today. There was a time when I couldn't live at all. I am just so grateful and thankful that I have been living in recovery today. Thanks to God's diving providence and intervention. God has granted me recovery through medicine, psychology, and spirituality.

I think that I am going to spend the rest of the day doing my research on science. I want to start getting down to business concerning becoming a science writer. I just pray that I don't change my mind about what kind of writer I want to become. As a result of my obsessive compulsive disorder I have trouble making decisions and when I make a decision I have trouble carrying it through to the end. I have been working hard on overcoming this problem. Eventually I will get the victory and be able to make decisions and carry them through to the end. It just takes a lot of hard work. There is a saying, "the secret to life is hard work." I have worked really hard to get where I am today. I didn't get to the point of recovery I am experiencing right now by being lazy. I am just full of energy and drive to do things and be successful at whatever I attempt to do. I am also the type of person that never gives up. I just keep working and working until I am successful at achieving my goals and objectives in life.

Thanks to God and my hard work I am recovering from my two mental illness's and addiction. I believe in myself and that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to. God has granted me many skills and gifts in life. I do my best to put those gifts and skills to good use. In fact I try to use my gifts and skills to help my fellow consumers, family and friends of consumers, and to remove some of that awful stigma that society holds against mental health consumers. We need to rise up and fight for our rights and have that stigma removed from the minds of society.

We need to believe in ourselves, not be afraid to speak out, and be willing to fight for what we believe in. I am.

Canada's homelessness crisis is a national disgrace | National Union of Public and General Employees

This is a link to an article on homelessness.

Ottawa (17 Jan. 2006) - Canada is facing a national homelessness crisis, a disgrace to our reputation as a wealthy country. The National Union of Public and General Employees (NUPGE) and its Component unions across the country see the fallout from this crisis every day.

Canada's homelessness crisis is a national disgrace | National Union of Public and General Employees

Schizophrenia and Mental Illness: Stigma & Discrimination: Aspects of Stigma

Stigma and discrimination towards people with schizophrenia and other mental illnesses, and even towards their families, is a huge problem. But until we can define what we are dealing with when we talk of stigma and discrimination we may not be able to do anything very much. Below are some ideas put together as a result of the stigma discussion at the Jerusalem conference and other discussions about stigma we have had. If you have something to add that may help people in their creation of anti-stigma and anti-discrimination programs please email or write us.

To read more click on the link below

Schizophrenia and Mental Illness: Stigma & Discrimination: Aspects of Stigma

Busy

I have been away from my blogs for a while. I have been so busy. I now hold down five part time jobs. Flyer Services, Burnt Out Solutions, CMHA, the store in Canning, and writing for the Schizophrenia Newsletter. These jobs keep me busy five days a week. The only days I have off for rest and relaxation is Saturday's and Sunday's.

I am very happy about being able to work so much. There was a time when I wasn't able to work. In fact I went over 20 years without being employed. I personally believe that my work is a very important part of my recovery. I am so grateful and thankful to be able to work. So much so that I cannot put it into words.

If you have schizophrenia don't give up hope. Recovery is possible and it is possible to break into the work force and hold down a job. Just stick to your treatment regime. Take your meds and seek psycho-social treatments from your mental health professionals. Medication alone is not sufficient for recovery. I must confess that not all recover but many do. I am recovering. For more than 20 years I was labeled as "long term chronically mentally ill." During that time I absolutely did nothing. When I did try to do something I only lasted five minutes and had to stop. I was in a hopeless, helpless, and useless condition. I never gave up. I had that faith, hope, and courage that some day things would get better. That's one of the things that helped get through all that pain and suffering. I knew that some day I would get through it all and come out the other side victorious. It finally happened. I now live a life of meaning, purpose, and I am a productive member of society. If I can do it so can you.

Kims Crafts

The most important part of my recovery is my relationship with my wife, Kim. She has started up a business. She makes scarfs and bookmarks. She sells them. They can be purchased in four stores in our local area. I have designed a blog for her business today. To view her blog click on the link below.

http://kimscrafts-kim.blogspot.com/